Bringing a baby into the world is truly a beautiful feeling, but let me be honest with you it’s not always like the happy scenes we see in movies or what our relatives say. As a calm mother of two boys with an age gap of almost 9 years, I thought I was ready this time. I had experience, I had strength but still, things felt different.
After my second son was born, I often found myself awake in the middle of the night, holding him close, yet feeling a deep emptiness I couldn’t understand. I was trying to balance my job, take care of my older child, and be there for this little baby all at once. And then came the thoughts of separation from my 3 month old, which made my anxiety even worse. It felt like my heart and mind were constantly fighting each other.
If you’re reading this and feeling even a little bit the same, please believe me you’re not alone. I’m not here just to share facts or give advice. This is more like a heart to heart between two moms. In this blog, let’s understand something that we don’t say out loud often, but something we all feel deep inside, Postpartum depression, or PPD, which is real!
Understanding Postpartum Depression
So, what exactly is postpartum depression? It’s a mental health condition that affects women after childbirth. It’s more than feeling a little down or overwhelmed. It’s a deep emotional struggle that doesn’t just go away with a nap or a cup of chai.
Many moms experience the “baby blues,” which can involve mood swings, crying spells, and anxiety. But PPD is more intense and lasts longer. While baby blues usually fade within two weeks, postpartum depression can linger for months if left unaddressed.
The thing is, when I first felt it, I didn’t even know it had a name. I just thought I was failing as a mother, not being strong enough. But PPD isn’t your fault. It’s a combination of hormonal changes, emotional stress, and sometimes even societal pressure that many mothers in India silently carry.
Why We Don’t Talk About It Enough, Especially in India?
Let’s face it mental health isn’t something most Indian families talk openly about, especially not for women who have just had a baby. There’s this huge expectation that motherhood should come naturally, with a big smile on our faces and hearts full of joy.
But the reality is, many new mothers are silently crying behind closed doors. I remember how I couldn’t talk to my mother in law or even my own mom about how I felt. Everyone just said, “It’s normal,” or “It’ll get better once the baby sleeps.”
But brushing it off only makes things worse. We need to break this silence, especially in Indian households. Talking about Signs of Postpartum Depression openly can change not just your life, but create a supportive environment for future mothers too.
Sign 1: Overwhelming Sadness
One of the first things I noticed was that I was crying a lot for no clear reason. Sometimes it was while feeding my baby, sometimes in the quiet of my room. That sadness wasn’t a passing feeling; it felt like a heavy cloud that followed me everywhere. I started doubting myself: Am I doing this right? Why don’t I feel happy? I even felt guilty when my baby smiled and I didn’t feel joy.
What helped:
- My husband listened without trying to fix things.
- He took over night feeds so I could rest.
- My mom cooked and did chores.
- I allowed myself the space to feel and accept my emotions.
Sadness in motherhood is real, but it doesn’t mean you’re failing. With compassion and help, healing begins.
Sign 2: Constant Fatigue
Every new mom feels tired, but this was different. Even after sleeping well, I woke up exhausted, my body and mind felt heavy. I struggled to get moving, and my baby’s cries felt distant.
How it showed:
- I couldn’t smile at my baby’s little moments.
- I lost patience with my husband and shut myself away.
- I stopped enjoying things I loved like reading or calling friends.
What helped:
- My husband handled diaper changes and feeds so I could rest.
- My sister watched the baby while I took short naps.
- We set small daily tasks just for me like stepping outside or enjoying a cup of tea.
Your fatigue isn’t weakness it’s a signal you need rest and help. Slow steps, shared load, and care from loved ones can help you feel more like you again.
Sign 3: Irritability and Anger
I used to be calm, but suddenly I’d get upset over tiny things the baby’s cry again, a missed call, or my husband talking. I’d feel out of control, and afterward, I felt ashamed and alone.
How it showed:
- Small incidents would lead to shouting.
- I avoided talking to my husband to avoid conflict.
- I felt like I had failed as a mother.
What helped:
- My husband listened when I was about to snap, holding my hand instead of arguing.
- My mom stepped in with baby care so I could regroup.
- Taking a quick walk or sitting quietly helped me reset and calm down.
Anger doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom it means you’re overwhelmed. Gentle understanding and support can help those feelings ease.
Sign 4: Loss of Interest or Pleasure
Activities I once loved like dancing, music, or even my favorite snacks felt empty. I went through the motions: changing diapers, feeding, and cleaning, but my heart wasn’t in it anymore.
How it showed:
- I didn’t want to talk or laugh.
- Family outings felt boring.
- Even watching my baby play didn’t bring me warmth.
What helped:
- My husband encouraged me to pick up my paintbrush again.
- A friend brought over a cupcake and a conversation about anything but mum life.
- I started small, like reading a page of a book or listening to a song I loved.
Joy felt far away, but every little step helped me feel alive again.
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Sign 5: Feeling Hopeless or Worthless
There were days I felt like I had no purpose. I’m not good enough. I’m failing my family. These thoughts weighed me down and made me withdraw even more.
How it showed:
- I cut myself off from friends and family.
- I avoided mirror couldn’t stand the reflection of “this broken mom.”
- I believed nothing I did mattered.
What helped:
- My husband told me, “You’re enough. You’re doing well.”
- Therapy helped me challenge negative thoughts.
- I started small positive habits like writing one thing I did well each day.
With kindness and gentle reminders, I began to see my worth again.
Sign 6: Anxiety or Panic Attacks
My mind was always racing. What if the baby stopped breathing? What if I missed something important? I checked on him constantly and sometimes felt my heart pounding for no reason.
How it showed:
- I had racing thoughts during the day and worry-filled nights.
- I avoided stepping out, fearing something unpredictable could happen.
- I once had a sudden panic attack because I couldn’t find his favorite toy.
What helped:
- My husband held me during panic moments and reminded me to breathe slow.
- A friend taught me simple breathing exercises.
- I journaled my fears before bed so my mind could rest.
Sign 7: Difficulty Bonding with Baby
I felt distant from my baby not from lack of love, but because my mind and heart were numb. It felt wrong and caused me deep guilt.
How it showed:
- I did tasks like feeding and changing without feeling closeness.
- I felt jealous of other mothers who seemed to bond quickly.
- I avoided eye contact and cuddles.
What helped:
- I focused on tiny reactions: a grasped finger, a soft coo.
- My husband encouraged me to sing to the baby even if I didn’t feel like it.
- A therapist assured me bonding takes time, and that’s okay.
Slow moments and gentle care led me to feel love again, step by step.
Sign 8: Changes in Appetite or Sleep
Sometimes I couldn’t eat anything; other days, I didn’t stop snacking. Sleep was unpredictable either impossible despite exhaustion or overwhelming and too long.
How it showed:
- Irregular meals or emotional overeating.
- Waking up in the night thinking about random thoughts.
- Sleeping through important moments or being wide awake till dawn.
What helped:
- My husband prepared simple meals for me.
- I tried to keep a basic sleep schedule, even with interruptions.
- We added quick evening walks to unwind together.
Planning small routines helped my body and mind feel steadier again.
How to Support a New Mother?
In Indian households, so much attention is given to the baby gifts, celebrations, rituals but who is looking after the mother? Support for new mothers, especially those facing postpartum depression, starts with the small, consistent acts of love and understanding.
Here’s how families can help:
- Listen without judging: Sometimes, we don’t need advice, just someone to hear our pain without fixing it.
- Share the load: Let her rest while you handle chores, feeding, or changing diapers. That 30 minutes of rest could mean the world.
- Check in daily: Ask her how she feels not just about the baby, but as a person.
- Create a safe space: Don’t dismiss her feelings. Saying “It’s all in your head” or “Every mother goes through this” can make her feel invisible.
- Encourage professional help: A gentle suggestion to talk to a therapist can open doors she’s too afraid to knock on herself.
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Final Thoughts
To every mother reading this, I want to say, you are doing better than you think. You are not alone. You are not weak. Postpartum depression may feel like a heavy fog, but I promise, light is waiting on the other side.
I have been there. I have cried silently during late night feedings. I have doubted myself. I have felt broken. But I also found healing. Through love, support, therapy, and time, I found myself again not the old me, but a new, wiser, more compassionate version of myself.
And you will too.
