Long-Distance Parenting: Why Choosing Yourself Makes You a Better Mother
Breaking the “Perfect Mother” Myth
“Kaisi maa hai?” — a question soaked in judgment. When Moushami Kapadia, a biker mom and artist, chose mental health over martyrdom, society had opinions. But she had one mission: to be a calmer, more connected mother, even if it meant taking the road less traveled.
In a moving conversation with Psychologist Reena Chopra, she unpacks the emotional truth behind long-distance parenting.
The Invisible Weight of Mom Guilt
No matter how hard she worked, one question lingered — “Am I doing enough?”
For many Indian mothers balancing career and caregiving, guilt becomes a constant shadow. Moushami realized that guilt doesn’t make you a better mom — peace does.
“When I take care of myself, I come back to my child recharged and joyful — not resentful.”
What Self-Care Really Means
Self-care isn’t spa days or vacations — it’s mental hygiene. It’s taking time to breathe, cry, talk, and rest — so your energy doesn’t overflow as anger or fatigue.
Reena Chopra adds,
“Children learn emotional regulation from the energy their parents bring home, not from what they say.”
A mindful break helps both the parent and child heal.
When Distance Builds Strength
Distance doesn’t always weaken bonds — sometimes, it strengthens them. In Moushami’s case, being away for work made every call, hug, and visit intentional. She learned that connection isn’t about time — it’s about presence.
“Even when I’m away, my daughter knows I’m emotionally there,” she said.
Society’s Judgment vs. Inner Peace
Society labels working moms as “selfish,” stay-at-home moms as “lazy,” and single moms as “broken.” But the truth is, every mother is doing her best within her circumstances.
Long-distance parenting forces one to define motherhood beyond proximity — to love deeply without guilt.
How to Stay Emotionally Connected
💬 Daily check-ins: short voice notes or video calls.
💙 Rituals of connection: bedtime affirmations, shared journaling, or weekly letters.
🧘♀️ Emotional balance: therapy, mindfulness, or community support.
🌿 Honesty: telling your child why you’re away builds trust, not confusion.
Calm Mother, Calm Child
A mother’s calm becomes a child’s compass. When mothers stop equating exhaustion with love, they teach children that self-respect is part of care.
Reena Chopra beautifully puts it:
“You can’t pour from an empty cup — and children don’t need perfection, they need peace.”
Final Takeaway
Motherhood isn’t about constant presence — it’s about consistent love. When women choose to nurture their mental health, they raise emotionally secure, resilient children.
A calm mother isn’t selfish. She’s sacred. 🌸
Discover holistic parenting tools and emotional wellness programs at 👉 Saar Holistic Wellness
Hi, I’m Reena Chopra a psychologist, Award Winning Modern Parenting expert, and most importantly, a mother just like you.
I know how beautifully messy parenting can be. The love is endless but so are the sleepless nights, the guilt after a shout, the doubts that creep in, and the longing to just do it right.
That’s exactly why I created this space!
Here, you’ll find gentle guidance, science-backed strategies, and heart-led support to help you stay calm through chaos, understand your child better, and build a stronger connection as a family.
From one mom to another you’re not alone. Let’s walk this journey together!
