Today, I sat down with Shweta Tanwar, a mom wellness creator and digital entrepreneur who’s raising an 8-year-old son while building her own business. You can follow her journey on Instagram at @shvtas, where she shares honest, unfiltered insights about modern motherhood. What I love about Shweta is her refusal to sugarcoat the hard parts she tells it like it is, and as a child psychologist with over 11 years of experience, I can tell you that this kind of honesty is exactly what parents need.
Our conversation wasn’t about perfect parenting. It was about mindful parenting being present, intentional, and aware of how every choice we make shapes the men our boys will become.
The Absent Parent Epidemic: Are You Really That Busy?
I started our conversation with the question that’s been weighing on my mind: What about all these absent parents?
Mothers today are building businesses, growing their social media presence, climbing corporate ladders and I’m not saying any of this is wrong. In fact, I celebrate women who pursue their dreams. But Shweta’s response cut straight to the heart of the issue:
“Honestly, Reena, I’m not really okay with the kind of moms out there who don’t spend quality time with their kids. If you’re a mom, your priority, to a large extent, should be taking care of your child, especially in the early years.”
She paused, then added something that made me sit up straighter: “I’ve seen busy people. If you’re busy and don’t have time for your child, the problem is that you’re not planning well, not balancing your life properly. It has nothing to do with just being busy.”
Let that land for a moment.
How many times have you said “I’m too busy” when what you really mean is “I haven’t prioritized this”?
Shweta continued: “No one can work 12 to 14 hours, 365 days straight. Let’s be honest. If a mother says ‘I really don’t have time,’ that’s not possible. You need to step back, revisit your schedule, revisit your routine.”
This isn’t about mom-shaming. This is about mom-truth-telling.
By age six, 90% of a child’s brain is developed. If you’re not around during those formative years, you’re not just missing milestones, you’re potentially setting up your child for social anxiety, communication issues, and emotional dysregulation.
The question isn’t “Can I have it all?” The question is: “Am I willing to be intentional about what ‘all’ means right now, in this season of my child’s life?”
Don’t PreachModel: The Power of What They See
One of the most powerful insights Shweta shared was this: “Kids don’t learn by being told, they learn by watching. So whatever you do, you’re teaching them automatically.”
She gave a perfect example: “My husband loves to cook on weekends. My son has been watching his dad cook every weekend, so for him, the idea of a guy cooking is normal. He always says my dad cooks better than my mom.”
This is mindful parenting in action.
You don’t need to give your son a lecture about gender equality. You don’t need to sit him down and explain that men should do household work too. You just need to show him.
When dad cooks, when dad does laundry, when dad changes diapers, when dad expresses emotions your son learns that these aren’t “women’s jobs” or signs of weakness. They’re just life.
Similarly, when your son sees mom working, mom going to meetings, mom pursuing her career, mom having dreams beyond motherhood he learns that women are multidimensional human beings, not just caretakers.
Shweta’s son has grown up watching both parents share responsibilities. The result? “For him, it’s totally normal that mom also works. I think these fundamental things need to be clear in their heads so when they grow up, they believe in equality. When they get married, they’ll respect their families and work well with their peers.”
This is how we break generational patterns. Not through lectures, but through lived examples.
The Energy You Can’t Hide: What Your Son Is Really Absorbing
Here’s something that made my psychologist brain light up. Shweta said: “At a really deep, almost spiritual level, kids feed off the energy in the house. If the house has a happy, positive vibe, you’ll see it reflected in how the kids act. But if there’s tension, it shows clearly in the kids’ behavior too.”
I see this constantly in my practice. Parents come to me saying their 6-month-old daughter is “angry.” Their toddler is “difficult.” Their son is “defiant.”
And when I dig deeper, I find:
- Parents who are constantly fighting (but think the baby doesn’t notice)
- Mothers who are anxious and stressed (but believe they’re hiding it well)
- Fathers who are emotionally distant (but assume their presence is enough)
Children are energy detectors. They don’t need to understand words to feel tension. They don’t need to witness arguments to sense disconnection. Their nervous systems are wired to pick up on the emotional climate of their home and they respond accordingly.
This is why mindful parenting starts with mindful self-awareness.
Before you can create a peaceful environment for your son, you need to address:
- Your own unresolved trauma
- Your relationship dynamics with your partner
- Your stress management (or lack thereof)
- The emotional atmosphere you’re creating daily
Shweta put it perfectly: “As a parent, we need to be careful and take care 24/7. We can’t just go in with a reckless attitude. When you’re a parent, you have to keep an eye on things.”
This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being conscious.
Myth-Busting: What Modern Boys Actually Need
During our rapid-fire round, Shweta demolished several myths about raising boys. Let me share the highlights:
Myth: Boys Don’t Cry
Truth: “They’re humans, and they do cry. My son is extremely emotional.”
Boys cry. Boys feel fear. Boys experience sadness, disappointment, rejection, and heartbreak. The problem isn’t that they’re emotional, it’s that we’ve taught them not to show it.
When we say “boys don’t cry,” we’re teaching them to suppress healthy emotional expression. And suppressed emotions don’t disappear; they mutate into aggression, withdrawal, addiction, or depression.
Myth: Boys Are Naturally Aggressive
Truth: “Aggression is a state of mind. Women can be aggressive too. Look at Goddess Kali who’s more aggressive than her?”
Aggression isn’t gendered. It’s learned behavior, often modeled by parents, reinforced by the media, and excused by society when boys display it.
If your son is aggressive, ask yourself:
- What am I modeling when I’m angry?
- How do I handle conflict in front of him?
- Am I teaching him emotional regulation, or just punishment?
Myth: Boys Are Less Emotional Than Girls
Truth: “Boys are super emotional. They just don’t know how to show it. The real problem is communication, not sensitivity.”
This is crucial. Boys aren’t less emotional, they’re less emotionally articulate.
We teach girls to name their feelings from a young age: “Are you feeling sad? Frustrated? Disappointed?”
But with boys, we skip straight to: “You’re fine. Shake it off. Don’t be a baby.”
The result? Men who can’t identify their emotions, can’t communicate their needs, and can’t form intimate relationships because they were never taught the vocabulary of feelings.
Myth: Only Dads Can Raise Tough Boys
Truth: “Women can raise tough kids because she understands both sides.”
This myth is particularly harmful to single mothers, who are constantly told their sons will be “soft” or “confused” without a father figure.
But toughness isn’t about masculinity. It’s about resilience, emotional intelligence, and self-relianceall of which mothers are perfectly capable of teaching.
Shweta nailed it: “Someone needs to spend time with the child who knows and understands them better. It could be the dad, it could be the mom.”
What matters isn’t the parent’s gender. What matters is their presence, consistency, and emotional availability.
Myth: Life Skills Are Just for Girls
Truth: “Everyone needs to learn these things. It doesn’t have to be based on gender.”
Teaching your son to cook, clean, do laundry, and manage a household isn’t “women’s work”, it’s basic adulting.
Shweta made a brilliant point: “Before teaching kids coding, it’s really important to teach them household chores. They should know how to make their bed, turn off lights, cook, cut stuff, everything.”
When we raise boys who can’t take care of themselves, we’re not protecting their masculinity. We’re handicapping their independence and setting them up to expect women to serve them.
The Overprotective Mother Trap
One of the hardest truths Shweta shared was about overprotective parenting: “I think you have to let your kids go. You have to let them figure things out. If we’re always there for them, how will they understand the world? How will they know what’s a problem and how to solve it?”
She admitted: “I’m kind of protective when it comes to my kid, and that’s not good for him. Once we accept that, balance is key.”
This is mindful self-awareness in action recognizing your tendency and actively working against it.
Overprotective mothers often raise boys who:
- Can’t handle failure
- Avoid challenges
- Depend on others to solve their problems
- Struggle with independence
- Have difficulty forming adult relationships (because no one will care for them like mom did)
“Letting them fail while learning is important,” Shweta said. “Failure is amazing. When you fail, that’s goodjust don’t make the same mistakes again.”
This is the mindset shift we need: Failure isn’t the enemy. Lack of learning from failure is.
When your son falls, your job isn’t to prevent all future falls. Your job is to:
- Let him feel the natural consequence
- Help him process the emotion
- Guide him to identify what went wrong
- Support him in trying again
This builds resilience, problem-solving, and grit the actual ingredients of toughness.
The Dad Factor: Why It Matters (But Not How You Think)
Shweta’s husband cooks. Her son sees this. The result? Her son thinks cooking is normal for everyone.
But here’s the deeper truth: It’s not just about dads cooking. It’s about dads being emotionally present, vulnerable, and engaged.
Boys need to see:
- Dads expressing emotions (crying when sad, verbalizing feelings)
- Dads apologizing when wrong
- Dads asking for help when needed
- Dads respecting mom’s career and choices
- Dads sharing household responsibilities without being asked
When boys grow up watching emotionally available fathers, they learn that masculinity includes vulnerability. They learn that strength doesn’t mean stoicism. They learn that being a man means being fully human.
And if dad isn’t in the picture? That’s okay too. Because these lessons can come from:
- Male teachers
- Uncles and grandfathers
- Family friends
- Coaches and mentors
The key is intentionally exposing your son to healthy male role models who embody the values you want him to learn.
The 2026 Reality: Why Old Parenting Doesn’t Work Anymore
Shweta made a point that resonated deeply with me: “We’re in 2026. A lot of things have changed. We’ve changed, our DNA has evolved, our minds have evolved, our environment has changed. VR and AI are getting big. We really have to be super aware and mindful.”
Our parents could raise us with benign neglect because:
- We played outside with neighborhood kids (natural social development)
- We weren’t bombarded with screens (natural attention spans)
- Extended families provided support (built-in village)
- The world moved slower (less overstimulation)
But today’s boys are growing up with:
- Screens from infancy (attention span issues, dopamine dysregulation)
- Social isolation (fewer neighborhood friends, more online interaction)
- Nuclear families (limited support systems)
- Constant overstimulation (anxiety, sensory overload)
Old parenting methods don’t address these new realities.
Mindful parenting in 2026 means:
- Being intentional about screen time (not just limiting, but curating quality)
- Creating opportunities for boredom (where creativity happens)
- Building community deliberately (playdates, activities, mentorship)
- Teaching emotional regulation (because the world won’t slow down for them)
What Your Son Actually Needs From You
Based on my conversation with Shweta and my years of practice, here’s what modern boys need most:
1. Your Presence (Not Your Perfection) You don’t need to be a perfect mom. You need to be a present mom. Put down your phone during dinner. Make eye contact when he talks. Notice what he’s feeling, not just what he’s doing.
2. Permission to Feel Everything Teach him that all emotions are valid: “It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to feel angry. Let’s talk about what to do with those feelings.”
3. Models of Equality Let him see dad cook, mom work, parents share responsibilities, both parents apologize. Don’t tell him about equality.
4. Space to Fail Step back. Let him struggle. Let him fall. Let him figure it out. Then be there to help him process what happened, not to fix it for him.
5. Life Skills, Not Just Academic Skills Teach him to cook a basic meal, do laundry, clean a bathroom, manage money. These aren’t “women’s work”, they’re independence.
6. Your Own Emotional Health The energy in your home matters more than the toys in your home. Work on yourself. Go to therapy. Manage your stress. Your son is absorbing everything.
7. Honest Conversations Don’t hide real life from him. Talk about money, relationships, emotions, bodies, consent, respect. Age-appropriate honesty builds trust.
The Final Truth: You’re Building a Future Man
Every interaction you have with your son is shaping the man he’ll become. Every time you:
- Let him cry without shaming him
- Watch dad cook without commenting
- Apologize when you’re wrong
- Let him fail and figure it out
- Teach him to respect women
- Show him that men can be tender
You’re building a future husband, father, colleague, friend.
The world doesn’t need more boys who were told to “man up.” The world needs more boys who were taught to show up emotionally, physically, mentally.
As Shweta beautifully said: “We should give our kids this understanding every now and then and keep reminding them, because parenting is really tough. We need to be in that zone more to give them good energy and good thoughts.”
Mindful parenting isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being intentional.
So today, I want you to ask yourself:
- What energy am I bringing to my home?
- What am I modeling for my son?
- Am I present, or just physically there?
- Am I letting him fail, or rescuing him too quickly?
- Am I teaching him to suppress emotions, or express them healthily?
Your answers to these questions will shape not just your son’s childhood, but his entire life and the lives of everyone he’ll touch as a man.
Choose mindfully.
