Why Do I Get Panic Attacks? Are My Parents Responsible?

A Mother’s Honest Conversation

As a mother of two, I know firsthand what it feels like to worry about your child’s emotional well-being. My elder one is a teen and my younger is still in primary school. There are days when my teenager feels anxious before an exam or my little one gets nervous before a dance performance in school. I have seen those teary eyes and trembling hands and as a psychologist, I knew these were signs of anxiety.

Panic attacks are more common than we think. They are scary for both children and parents. Many times, moms tell me with tears in their eyes, “Did I do something wrong? Am I the reason my child feels this way?” If you have ever felt that way, you are not alone.

This article is to help you understand panic attack causes in children, why they happen, how parenting can play a role and most importantly, what you can do to help your child.

Understanding Panic Attacks in Simple Words

Many people describe a panic attack as a sudden storm inside the body. Your heart starts racing, you sweat, your chest feels tight, you feel dizzy and you might even feel like you are going to faint or lose control. Panic attacks can happen suddenly and leave you feeling helpless and scared. But have you ever wondered why they happen in the first place? And if you are a teenager or young adult reading this, you might ask yourself are my parents somehow responsible for my panic attacks?

Infact, many children experiencing panic attacks often do not understand what is happening to them. They feel scared, helpless and ashamed, and sometimes they hide it from their parents thinking it is their fault.

Let’s break it down in simple, meaningful words so that you can understand the causes, effects and solutions.

What Are Panic Attacks?

A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers physical reactions when there is no real danger or obvious cause. You might feel like something terrible is about to happen or that you cannot breathe properly.

Common Symptoms:

• Rapid heartbeat
• Sweating and shaking
• Shortness of breath or choking sensation
• Chest pain or discomfort
• Nausea or dizziness
• Feeling detached or unreal
• Fear of losing control or dying

Panic attacks can occur in children, teenagers and adults. For some people they happen once in a while. For others they can become frequent and interfere with daily life.

What Causes Panic Attacks?

There is no single reason for panic attacks. It is usually a mix of biological, psychological and environmental factors:-

1. Biological Factors: Some children have a naturally sensitive nervous system. They feel emotions more deeply. Even small stress can trigger big reactions in them.

2. Childhood Anxiety: Many children with panic attacks already struggle with anxiety from an early age. It could be fear of darkness, separation anxiety, social anxiety or academic pressure.

3. Parenting and Anxiety: Now comes the question that worries most parents: am I responsible? The answer is not simple yes or no. Parents are not to blame intentionally. But children learn how to respond to stress by observing parents. If parents are anxious, perfectionist or constantly stressed, children absorb that energy. Similarly, very strict or emotionally distant parenting can make a child feel unsafe. Even overprotective parenting can backfire because children never learn how to handle fear on their own.

4. Anxiety Triggers: Small things can trigger panic attacks: a sudden loud sound, going to school after a break, seeing parents fight or even changes like moving to a new house.

Are Parents Responsible?

As a mother myself, I know how this question hits hard. Let me tell you something honestly. Parenting does influence how children deal with anxiety but it does not mean you are a bad parent. Most of us are doing the best we can with what we know. Sometimes we are also struggling with our own anxiety without realizing it.

The good news is you can help your child now. Panic attacks are treatable and with the right support, children can learn to overcome them and even become stronger emotionally.

• If a child grows up in a home where emotions are not expressed openly, they may feel unsafe sharing their fears.

• If a child constantly experiences criticism, unrealistic expectations or emotional neglect, their stress levels remain high.

• Witnessing parents fight frequently or experiencing separation and divorce can also create anxiety patterns that show up later as panic attacks.

However, this does not mean parents intentionally cause panic attacks. In many cases, parents themselves have anxiety and unknowingly pass on their coping patterns to children.

A Real Case That Touched My Heart

A 12 year old girl, let us call her Meera, came to my clinic with her mother. Meera had frequent panic attacks before school. She would wake up feeling nauseous, sweaty and sometimes would cry so much that she could not even get into the school bus. Her mother initially thought Meera was being lazy but later realized something was wrong.

When I spoke to Meera, I found that she was scared of disappointing her parents. She loved them but she felt like nothing she did was ever enough. She was also bullied by a senior at school which she had never shared at home because she did not want to trouble her parents.

We started family counselling sessions. I taught Meera simple breathing exercises, grounding techniques and how to talk openly about her feelings. I also worked with her parents to help them listen without judgment and praise her efforts rather than results.

Within three months, Meera’s panic attacks reduced. Today she is not only attending school happily but has joined a dance club and recently performed on stage confidently.

The Bigger Picture – Current Affairs and Research

Recent research from the World Health Organization shows that anxiety and panic disorders in children have increased globally, especially after COVID-19. Online schooling, reduced social interaction and increased screen time have affected children’s emotional health.

A National Mental Health Survey in India in 2024 showed a 35 percent rise in teenage anxiety cases. Experts say academic pressure, social media comparisons and lack of open emotional conversations at home are key reasons.

This tells us one thing clearly. We as parents need to make emotional wellness a priority at home, just like we do for studies, sports and health.

How Do Panic Attacks Affect Children and Parents?

Panic attacks do not just affect the child. They affect parents and even siblings.

For Children:

• Missed school and academic drop

• Fear of going out or meeting people

• Low self esteem and confusion about their own body and emotions

For Parents:

• Constant worry about child’s health

• Feeling guilty or helpless

• Strained relationships with spouse or extended family

• Increased stress and burnout

This cycle of stress can impact everyone’s mental health if not addressed early.

For Siblings:

Sometimes siblings feel ignored because parents focus more on the child having panic attacks and the causes. This can create jealousy or resentment.

This is why dealing with panic attacks is not just about stopping the attack but healing the entire family environment.

How to Deal with Panic Attacks – A Mother’s Perspective

Here are some simple and effective steps that I personally use at home and also recommend to the parents I work with:-

1. Breathe Together:

Whenever my child feels anxious, I sit next to them and do slow breathing together. I say, “Let’s breathe in like we are smelling a flower and breathe out like we are blowing a candle.” Children love this imagery and it instantly calms them.

Benefit: Helps reset their nervous system and builds trust between parent and child. Book a Consultation with Child Psychologist Reena Chopra to Learn Anxiety Management Techniques.

2. Create a Safe Talk Zone:

have made a small corner in our living room where my kids can talk to me anytime about their fears. No phones, no TV, no judgment. Sometimes they draw how they feel instead of talking.

Benefit: Children learn it is safe to express emotions. It strengthens bonding and reduces bottled-up stress.

3. Encourage Play and Physical Activity:

Play is not just fun, it is therapy. Outdoor games, dancing or cycling together helps release happy hormones. In my home, weekend family badminton matches are our stress-buster.

Benefit: Improves mood, reduces anxiety naturally and creates beautiful family memories.

Get Expert Guidance on Child Anxiety and Panic Attacks. Book Your Session Now

4. Sibling Bonding Activities:

Siblings can sometimes tease or compete, which increases anxiety. I encourage joint projects like cooking simple recipes, painting a big poster or building a Lego city together.

Benefit: Teaches teamwork, patience and empathy. Reduces sibling rivalry and increases emotional security.

5. Teach Relaxation with Fun:

Children love fun elements. I once made a “relaxation jar”, a transparent jar filled with water, glitter and glue. When shaken, the glitter swirls and slowly settles. I tell my kids, “Our mind is like this jar. Let’s wait for the glitter to settle before making decisions.”

Benefit: Children learn patience and mindfulness in a fun way.

6. Involve Schools and Teachers:

Parents should communicate with teachers if a child has panic attacks. In one case, a teacher allowed a student to step outside for two minutes to breathe when feeling anxious. That small support made a huge difference.

Benefit: Children feel supported everywhere, not just at home.

Talk to an Expert Today & support your child’s journey.

How to Overcome Panic Attacks Long Term?

• Therapy and Counselling: Working with a child psychologist helps children learn coping skills and parents learn supportive communication,

• Mindfulness Practices: Daily journaling, gratitude exercises and meditation calm the mind and body.

• Healthy Lifestyle: Balanced diet, enough sleep and limited screen time reduce anxiety triggers.

• Parenting Workshops: Parents can learn how to manage their own stress and create an emotionally safe home.

Benefits of Addressing Panic Attacks Early

• Improved academic performance

• Better family relationships

• Reduced risk of depression later in life

• Strong coping skills for future stress

• A healthier, happier childhood

Why Does This Happen?

Panic attacks happen because the brain and body go into a survival mode even when there is no real danger. For some, childhood anxiety and family patterns increase this sensitivity. The good news is with the right support and early intervention, children and teenagers can fully recover and live confident, happy lives.

My Personal Message to Mothers

I want to speak to every mother reading this. You are not alone. We all want to protect our children from pain, but sometimes their pain is not something we can remove instantly. What we can do is stand beside them, hold their hands and guide them to the right help. Parenting is not about being perfect, it is about being present.

Final Thoughts

Panic attacks are not a sign of weakness. They are signals from the body asking for support and understanding. While parents may influence anxiety patterns, they are also the key to healing when they choose to support their children openly.

If you or your child is experiencing panic attacks, do not wait for it to get worse. Getting professional help is a sign of strength, not failure.